Imitation of Life

Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me.
1 Corinthians 4:15-16

A few weeks ago Laura spent some time at the front of church discussing what it means to be a Christian parent and the responsibility of modelling Jesus to your children. I missed all but the last few minutes of the talk due to taking Katy to crèche, but by all accounts she did a great job.

As a parent, your life is more closely scrutinised than at any other time in your life, and the consequences are far reaching for the simple fact that children learn by copying their parents. Katy is at the age where she will copy anything Laura and I do. She even puts her own teddies on the naughty step (she is a ferocious disciplinarian). As a parent you have the power to mould your child’s attitudes and behaviours which can have an impact for the rest of their lives. We also have the opportunity for our parenting to be completely destructive. But for the grace of God, our mistakes as parents can have devastating consequences.

The gospel message is far removed from merely trying to live a good life. I want to stress that Christianity is not about the pressure to perform well, but about trusting in the performance of Jesus and his righteousness. However, I also want to stress that sometimes we pull too far in the other direction, neglecting the importance of works. Perhaps we do this to avoid pride or out of fear that we might catch bad doctrine. It’s not what Jesus or the New Testament writers had in mind – they spoke about the importance of works regularly. Our works are vitally important, not so much for our own salvation but for those looking on. It’s something we need to bear in mind every time we enter the office, play sport competitively, go out socially or post something online. What did your latest cathartic rant do for your witness? Did it nullify many a good conversation you’ve had with colleagues or your efforts at discipling a younger Christian? Maybe not. But maybe.

Paul’s writings to the churches he planted are laced with parenting analogies. He calls himself a “father in the gospel”, a “nursing mother” and he dealt with the churches “like a father deals with his children”. Part of Paul’s “parenting technique” was to tell the churches to “imitate me”. It may sound arrogant of Paul, but he was only able to use such language because of his way of life in Christ Jesus, “which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church”. In other words, Paul’s lifestyle throughout the rest of the week transposed perfectly over the things he spoke in the pulpit. He was able to encourage, comfort and urge people to live lives worthy of God because he lived a life of integrity that was “holy, blameless and righteous”. Anything less would be hypocrisy.

As I see Katy grow I begin to see myself in her more and more. At times it is really satisfying as she tries to imitate me. She picks up on all of my good habits from brushing my teeth to washing my hands to reading the Bible. She also never fails to pick up on my bad habits (like not brushing my teeth, not washing my hands and not reading the Bible). She sees me doing things and wants to replicate them because she loves me and respects me. As a parent it is part of your job to make sure that respect isn’t misplaced. With great power comes great responsibility.

As a parent to a young child you stand astride the generations. On the one hand you see yourself turning into your parents, on the other you see your children turning into you, and in the middle you find yourself wrestling with just how important good parenting must be. I want to live a life above reproach in front of my children, not because I want them to think that moralism is the answer, but because I want them to respect me and listen to the things I tell them. Double standards will only serve to drain power from my words. I want them to think I’m someone worth listening to. I want to be a Dad who can be copied.